Careful what you wish for - The wall
Yes, I did.
What an amazing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual journey yesterday was. I’ve never experienced anything like it. With my legs starting to give out and seize up 40km’s into the journey how did I go another 40km’s?
Well, this was my question leading into this as well how do these people do this, I want to see for myself hat that wall feels and looks like. Well I definitely experienced “the wall” yesterday not only once but every time 40km’s in I turned that next corner and faced another barreling flight of stairs or hill going straight up for what felt like an eternity.
It was not something that I felt approaching or coming on, it literally BAM stared me dead in the face, putting it’s foot down this is it, you’re not going to make it up this hill. The first time it hit me is etched in my brain and will be for the rest of my life. It was coming up past Mosman ferry wharf (a trail I’ve done 3 or 4 times before). I climbed a set of about 20 stairs kicked up a slight hill once I got to the top of the hill that swooped around to the right there it was another set of 30 stairs and a hill steeper than anything I remembered or had taken on so far with 40km’s on my legs already.
As I took the 1st couple stairs I said out loud “Well this is what you came for, this is what I wanted, now lets see what you’re made of
In my mind leading up to this the moment of "the wall" was going to be something I’d be able to get amped for and feel it coming which I could prepare. It was nothing like that, it hit me like I’d imagine that surfer feels that pops up from a duck dive under a set of waves only to find a 50ft wave about to crash down on them. It was soul breaking, it crossed my mind for a second this can’t be done. Then I looked at my wristband which had a photo of my 3 yr old son Chase glued to the inside, this was and is always my WHY. I imagined sitting with my son either now or down the track and trying to preach to him, "son you can do anything you put your mind to in life, the only limitations are the ones we set on ourselves" then Chase saying back to me “Ok Dad but how bout that race you did in which you didn’t finish the race” Right there and then something infused into my veins that I can’t quite put words to, I’d found a 6th gear when my mind and body were telling me it’s over, you're done.
Guess the lesson here is that if we have a powerful enough WHY, that can spark and infuse our veins when everything else in us is staying stop, then there really is nothing we can’t do. I faced this head on about 12 hours ago and can’t explain to you how I continued another 40km’s after hitting this place and it wasn’t only the one time that I explained above it was every time I would hit that next flight of stairs or monster hill again returning me to my WHY and my photo of my son. The photo didn’t only represent my son but also every kid that I mentor and preach the same message to. What sort of a leader would I be if staring that same roadblock or mountain of doubt in the eyes and didn’t charge through. It was so much bigger than just me and finishing the race it was the message I’m trying to relay to everyone around me including myself. There really is no limitations of what we can do. The human body is capable of so much more especially when it works out ok this guy is not going to stop, he’s proven that over and over again so we better line up and get on board.